Analysis and results
by AiryAquarius
Summary: Sanzo realises he has some serious thinking to do, and it leads to some unforseen events. SanzoX Gojyo, Yaoi. Complete.


Sanzo POV, set some time after the Rikudo arc. For the wonderful Laurose (it was her prompt), beta-ed by her as well! I fiddled with it last, so all mistakes are mine.

Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki. Duh! This fic is written for entertainment purposes only, no copyright infringement intended, no profit made!

Warning: Yaoi, as in male x male, and of course, Language (Sanzo and Gojyo, people!)

Analysis and results

That moron. That bird brained idiot. That stupid perverted Kappa.

I've shut myself up in my room so I don't have to look at his stupid face any more than I have to.

It seems as if he's all I've been thinking about these past few days. How annoying is that? Having the ass wipe shit-eating-grin-faced Gojyo sprawled about your mind as if it's a plush throne and he's some goddamned king.

It's very, very annoying. And it's damned near driving me insane.

Even thinking his name feels odd. Weird, tingly odd. Not good. Must stop.

Oh, how I would like to put a bullet through his goddamned, red haired, empty head.

But knowing the sort of luck I have, that would just make the problem worse.

Everything started because of that stupid Shuuhei. Rikudo. Whatever. When he jabbed his staff at Go- the kappa, and said that nonsense about killing all demons and bullshit, my heart actually missed a beat. My heart. Skipped. A fucking beat. For Go- the kappa.

Stupid Shuuhei.

I am not sure why that happened. It has never happened before (thank God). Maybe it's a one-time thing. Must have been something wrong with the food I ate. Do NOT ask me how my diet affects my heart rate. Just don't. I have no other explanation for that incident. If anyone wants to tell me it may be because I was worried for the kappa, run before I can shoot you. Because I. Do Not. Have Feelings. For Those Three. And especially NOT the Kappa.

Topic closed.

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.

.

Or so I thought, because THIS STUPID KAPPA IS NOT GETTING OUT OF MY HEAD! Doesn't matter what I do, doesn't matter how many cigarettes I smoke, doesn't matter how many newspapers I read, he is not leaving me alone.

So I have to take the ultimate step.

No, not shooting him. Although the idea is great, it would affect the mission. I can't jeopardise the mission.

So the ultimate step: Analyse my thoughts.

This fucking sucks.

And I just realised I consider Go- the kappa essential to the mission.

I'd better start analysing. Where are my smokes, goddamnit?

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So. I fell asleep in the middle of the analysis. And, I can't believe I'm admitting to this, I dreamed of the kappa.

Shudder.

And I thought the kappa was straight?

Why am I thinking of this, again?

Ch, it's morning already. I might as well get coffee.

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Goddamn it, look at him, flirting unabashedly with that tarty waitress. And she's not even pretty. Damn it, doesn't he have any taste?

Suddenly I notice Hakkai looking at me with That Gleam in his eye. That Gleam, which means he's thinking Thoughts. Thoughts concerning me. Thoughts which are sure to lead to a Talk.

I do not want to Talk.

But something tells me it's too late for that now.

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"Sanzo."

"What?"

"Why do you look at him like that?"

I snarl.

"I saw you looking. Don't tell me I'm wrong." Hakkai gives me That Look, which means he is not about to admit defeat. Ever.

I sigh. "What do you want, Hakkai?"

Hakkai smiles that godawful fake-cheerful smile of his. "I know something's up."

"Good for you. Mind telling me what it is? Because I, for one, have no idea what you're talking about."

That cheerful smile intensifies a notch. Now it's almost scary. "I'm sure you'll figure it out for yourself. I'd better go get the clothes laundered, then. Good day to you, Sanzo."

And he turns and walks away.

Huh. That went well.

Now all I have to do is get a bottle of sake from the bar, grab a pack of Marlboros, and shut myself in my room, before Go- the idiot kappa finds me and gives me hell for the 'indirect kiss' again. Goddamned kappa. Goddamned jobless bodhisattva.

Goddamned broken bridge.

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So far, so good. Got my sake, got my smokes, got to my room without being confronted by a sexy red headed kappa gloating about 'his blood in my veins'.

Wait a minute. Sexy?

Must be the alcohol speaking. I think I'll get more alcohol to sober up.

And that 'blood in veins' dialogue has no right to sound that good.

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I am completely sloshed, and guess what? That asshole Go- kappa STILL has'nt vacated my mind.

This is insane. I am insane. There's no other excuse for the blasphemous images that are floating around my head now.

Why can't he just leave me alone?

Those ruby red eyes, always taunting and annoying toward me, but gentle and warm toward Hakkai. Those lean and muscular arms. That curtain of blood red hair, swishing this way and that when he ties it up. Those broad shoulders, tan and strong. That mouth, always smirking as if he's the sole keeper of some great secret. Those beautiful hands, large and slender-fingered.

I've gone insane.

This must be why I'm walking to Go- the kappa's- goddamnit, Gojyo's room in the middle of the night.

This must be why I'm banging on his door as if the world's ending.

The asshole'd better not have a whore in his room right now. Because if he does, I will shoot her, then him, and blame it on rabid youkai when Hakkai asks me. Sounds like a plan. Hn.

WHY ISN'T HE ANSWERING THE DOOR?

This past hour, I've been thinking. More like continuing the analysis I started yesterday. And I've made a couple of discoveries. For instance:

I'm drunk. Terribly, terribly drunk.

I have a heart. No, I don't mean the organ which goes thump thump and misses a beat on occasion. I mean emotions. When I saw Shuuhei, it triggered a flood of memories and emotions I thought I'd left behind the night Master died. Apparently, I hadn't.

Goku is important to me. I've always treated him like a pest but the truth is that I need the bakazaru as much as he needs me. We are the only family we have.

I'm out of sake. I need more.

Gojyo... is sexy. Very sexy. And an idiot. Because it's his fault for bringing that fact to my awareness by constantly flaunting it in front of my face, and never letting me forget it. It's his fault for constantly reminding me that his blood is running through my veins. It's his fault for being so goddamn sensual.

That day when he was sitting outside my door and I had the gun aimed at his head...Something weird happened then. In fact, something weird happened before that, when that fucking youkai taunted him about his half breed colouring. Something weird happened right at the start, when I knocked on his shabby little house, the night I was looking for Cho Gonou.

I've just been a fool not to notice sooner. I've just been in denial for a long time.

"FUCKING OPEN THE DOOR ALREADY, ASS WIPE!" The corridors are dark and empty save for the lone lamp shining by his door, like a beacon. No wonder no one has come to investigate my yelling, this place is empty except for us. Goku sleeps like the dead and Hakkai knows better than to interrupt me. Most of the time.

Finally, there's a click, and the door opens.

"What the fuck do you want, priesty?" he drawls, rubbing his eyes. He looks like a kid who's been dragged out of bed in the middle of a good dream.

He's wearing only boxers. Hm. How very considerate.

I smirk at him, grab him by the back of his neck, and pull him in for a kiss.

It's an amateur's kiss, I know. I'm not as practiced as he is at this.

I'm a virginal monk, not my fault, damnit.

He looks part confused and part shocked. His eyes are wide and his hands have frozen into claws at his sides.

I pull away.

"Wh- wh- WHAT?" He looks so bewildered it's funny.

"What?" I give him a raised eyebrow.

"Why did you do that?"

"Why did I do what?"

He makes an exasperated motion with his hands. "Why did you kiss me?"

"Because you wanted me to. And I wanted to."

"WHAT?" What a scandalised expression. I've never seen his face like that.

"You. Wanted. Me. To. Kiss. You. It's all your doing. You were the one who constantly kept flirting with me. You were the one who kept boasting about the fact that we shared an indirect kiss. YOU were the one who kept making obscene propositions toward me. So, I kissed you, because you wanted me to and I felt like it."

He looks... awkward. Almost ashamed. Huh?

"So it's my fault."

"Yes. No. Depends on how you look at it."

"So... will this be a problem?"

Wait. What? "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I mean, you're you and I'm me... I'm not allowed to want you, am I?"

"What. The. Fuck. You're full of bullshit, you know that, stupid kappa?"

"Huh?" What the hell, has he always been this dumb, or is he just doing it to annoy me?

"Since when have you acted according to what you are allowed to or not allowed to do?"

"But that's not- that's- that's-"

"What do you want, Kappa?" He's making me feel dumb. And insulted. Since when did I require someone else to think about protecting my virtue?

"I- dunno man..." He actually looks sad?

"Are you shitting me, kappa, because I am not in the mood for this."

"I mean, you're the sexiest guy I've seen. I'm straight, and I can't help myself from flirting with you. I want you to notice me, I dunno why but I do. And I want to get you into bed. There, I've said it."

He looks as if he's waiting for a bolt of lightning to fry him, or something.

"So? All you had to do was ask."

"What would be the chances of me not getting a bullet through my brain?" He has a point. Not as dumb as I thought, then.

"So, do you want to?"

"Want to what?"

"Want to fuck me?"

"Are you shitting me?" he asks, his customary leer back on his face. "Hell, yeah!"

I smirk, enter his room, and remove my robes to drape them on a chair. The sutra is safely stowed away with the rest of my luggage, as is the golden breastplate.

He walks me backward toward the bed, looking inordinately pleased. With a slight shove to my chest, I land on the bed and he lands on top of me, a hand on each side of my head. I comb my hands through his hair, which is as smooth and cool as I imagined. He groans before he grabs a hand and places a sloppy kiss on my palm before ridding me of my black vest.

He peppers small kisses along my collar bone, interspersed with tiny nips and licks, working his way up, along my jaw, my temples, and finally, my lips.

We kiss, long and slow and hard, and I have to admit, he's as good as he claims to be. I could get used to this. This feels... nice. Better than anything has felt in a long time.

We break off, panting slightly and he curls himself along the side of my body, draping a long leg across both of mine, burying his tan face in the nook between my shoulder and neck.

That's a surprise. I guess he wants to take it one step at a time.

It means he's prepared to invest time in this.

It means I'm not some random fuck for curiosity's sake.

Means there's more than what he's prepared to let on.

I can live with that. Especially if he keeps up with those kisses of his.

!*!*!*!*! Fini !*!*!*!*!

I'm really pleased with how this one turned out. But I'm always open to con-crit and any suggestions you may have ^_^

Thanks so much for reading! Do review please!


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